FULL NAME: Ged Wayne Kenney
NICKNAME/S: Celt or Gekko or Arsehole or Bastard or...
BIRTHPLACE: Mufulira, Zambia

Me and my trusty paintbrush in Mufulira, Zambia, contemplating what to destroy next

PROFESSION: Mercenary - Ok, ok! Digital designer and sometimes carpenter

An old, unfinished painting of mine

FAVORITE FOOD: Biltong, Spring OnionLays and ginger ale
CHEESE OR PINEAPPLE?: Neither - they both leave a rash...
SHOWER OR BATH?: I give up - which?
HAVE YOU HAD YOUR APPENDIX AND/OR TONSILS REMOVED?: I don't think so, but I did wake up in a bathful of ice before...
HAVE YOU EVER GONE SKINNY-DIPPING: I would NEVER!


I've NEVER seen these people before!

DO YOU MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE?: No, I don't, DOODIE-HEAD!!
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME?: I keep on saying it was self-defense!
ONE PILLOW OR TWO?: Depends on how many people are in the bed
BY THE TIME I'M 50 I WANT TO... Still be able to - er, can I say things like this?
PETS: I love petting


Lap rat...


Aaawww....

All together now ....

FAVOURITE 3 BANDS: Aerosmith, Pink floyd, Rubber
WORST BAND: My old one


'nuff said...

TYPE OF CAR YOU DRIVE NOW: Audi A3
DREAM CAR: Car??? Triumph 900 Speed Triple Fuel Injected!


Ooooh.....

WHERE IS YOUR HAPPY PLACE?: Wherever my hands are
FAVORITE ICE CREAM: On my happy place
WHICH 2 PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO BREED?: My mom and dad
FAVORITE GAME: Anything where I get to kill people


Wahahahah!

WHAT IS YOUR WORST TIME OF THE DAY: Sunlight
FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR: The beginning and the end
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE IMMORTALIZED? In rubber
ADIDAS, NIKE, OR REEBOK: Hi-Tech
PERSON YOU WOULD LEAST LIKELY WANT TO BE TRAPPED IN A LIFT WITH? A Tele-Evangelist


A pointless rollover...

FAVORITE PERFUME OR COLOGNE: Anything that a woman lets me sniff...
BEST MOVIE OF 99: Starship Troopers
FAVORITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME: Starship Troopers
WHO COULD GET YOU TO EAT BUGS? Anyone who showed me their boobs...


Bugs! I want Buuuuugs!!!!

WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU STAY HOME FOR: Anything with boobs
WHEN I NEED TO GET PISSED I RELY ON: My fists
IF YOU HAD A RACE HORSE WHAT WOULD YOU CALL IT? Glue
ANYTHING "DIFFERENT"ABOUT YOU? Do u really have to ask?


Showing off my ample cleavage...

SECRETLY I: ...Wear men's underwear
NAME 3 PET HATES?: Rover, Fido and Fifi
I AM TERRIFIED OF: ...Women with extra nipples
FAVOURITE COLOUR? Green
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ABDUCTED? MMMMMMMPH!


Me, two of my alter-egos and a couple of friends...

ACQUAINTANCE YOU MOST SUSPECT TO BE AN ALIEN INFORMANT? The telephone repairman...
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU WERE IN A PAST LIFE? Florence Nightingale


Irrefutable proof

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST TURN OFF? Sex in a barrel of fish
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST TURN ON? I'll have to whisper that into your ear, but it involves a sheep and 3 rubber chickens...
THINGI MOST MISS ABOUT BEING A KID? Not having pubes
MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT...DETAILS PLEASE? Asking a girl out on a date when I was a kid, and her bursting out in laughter, with everyone there. And then a Martian came down and abducted me
IF YOU WERE ON THE RUN FROM THE LAW WHERE WOULD YOU HIDE? In a box



FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH: Girls
FAVOURITE PAINTING OF ALL TIME? Dulux
WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE WHAT WERE YOU MOST AFRAID OF? Little things
WHAT'S THE NAUGHTIEST THING YOU EVER DID? Now, that is DEFINITELY not for public airing!



HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH? Depends on how much I've got on my mind
AND DO YOU ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH? Yes... No...
WHO MADE THE PYRAMIDS? People who couldn't afford walls for their roof
FAVOURITE MAGAZINE? Farmers Weekly
WHAT ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS ABOUT? Nothing, touch wood!
ONCE YOU ARE ELECTED PRESIDENT WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?: My underwear

"Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality."
Jules de Gaultier
"Once you have experienced great hardship, then you can appreciate simple humour - so before you tell a joke, hit yourself with a big stick."
Ged Kenney